Otogi Daemon Lore~ With a TwIsT~ Week 1
Author’s foreword: While I’d like to think that every card Otogi has ever released has some facts and origin to them, how true are these? I am almost positive that in their disposition, Otogi had made up a handful of fancy and ludicrous claims on how how each of these daemons came into being.
But is that really the best they can do? There are only so many facts and whatnot you can squeeze into a card. Sometimes, these card descriptions can be downright boring as ****. So, I’ve decided to take some daemons on my own volition and throw a spin onto them- two spins to the right, one spin to the left~
~Welcome to the Coffee Mug Weekly Corner of Absurd Storytelling~
*Disclaimer* Daemons listed are in no apparent order. Length of Story is also random lol. I also take requests for Daemons that you wish for me to spin a tale of my own [in]sanity. These Daemons must be confirmed Otogi release (either in the past or will be in future) and have no ties with their AGG counterpart, if any. In case you wonder just how true these may be; in my world, they happened 100%~ :3
This is currently being organized and archived, but we will try a Weekly Mitigation so that you will find a new post by me every week containing however many entries I can fit in. ^^;;
Categorized by Date
March 12, 2017~
Spider’s Thread / 5* ANIMA:
“Mercy is often said to be something that is given to those who do not deserve it. Not one to be pleased by such a saying, Buddha decided to put it to the test one day. First, he called HR to find out who would be the most qualified candidate to offer Mercy to the humans, and struck a deal with the gatekeeper to the void and netherworld, King Yama. They agreed over the phone to have the candidate select who she deemed to be worthy of Mercy. Surely, amongst a seedbed of millions upon millions of deceased souls, there would be one who could be graced with the gift of Mercy, and show the world what an act of compassion and altruism it was.
Unfortunately, Spider’s Thread quickly found out that human beings were the fattest waste of space to ever crawl into existence. She was expecting to only hold for one, but quickly found out that her thin, thin self was being used to support a “blubberton” of human souls. These were people made of compressed lard comprising the most selfish and evil of deeds, each giving off the stench of defecation, lies and wanton desire. Spider’s Thread was pissed. This was not in the job description, nor was this the Biggest Loser show. So she complained to her boss upstairs, Buddha. Upon hearing her out, Buddha decided that Mercy was better left given to those who deserved it. At his approval, Spider’s Thread snapped the lifeline caked in human grease, and watched with a smile as the deranged souls fell back into the void, at the Mercy of their Final Judgment before King Yama’s court.
-Never again shall humans be granted Mercy lest they lose all that fat and go on a good karma diet.- Those were Spider’s Thread’s last words before she disappeared from that world known as hell, and became a renowned Dietitian in the spirit world.”
March 13, 2017~
Longinus the Lost Saint/ 5*? ANIMA:
Said to be a Centurion who was once a proud warrior, but was tossed aside to do menial activities. These included prodding people with her staff or stabbing spears into the bodies of the enemies of her empire. At that time, no one knew that looking at oiled canvases filled with sketches of Greek Platonic Love in the darkness under almost no light could result in eventual blindness. Her Roman Legion Medicine Priest told her straight up that she would lose her eyesight in a couple of years, so she might as well begin training her senses by casting a blindfold over herself. If the Roman Empire had invented glasses back then this problem would have been alleviated and Longinus would have continued to read ancient BL doujins.
A few years later the revelation came true – she was as blind as a bat and would never again blush or gaze in awe at the intertwining togas of two men enthralled in platonic bonding on a bed of thorny roses in great detail. It did not take very long for Longinus to be ostracized by her legion. Her only remaining duty was to join in on this mundane activity called the Crucification, which involved her taking up whatever object they gave her and thrusting it in a general direction. There was very little she would look forward to other than hearing the cries of supposed criminals and traitors of the Roman Empire, and the occasional spray of blood that would drench Longinus should her strike prove fatal. She had always wondered if she would die in disgrace, forever meant to become a rag of bones after serving her purpose. Until one day… everything changed.
The crowd was rowdier than usual – and everything around Longinus screamed something was different. Cries of heresy, blasphemy, and treason filled the discord that reverberated in the air. Longinus did not understand what the big deal was; it was just some guy who claimed to be a miracle performer. People like him were a dime in a dozen at the time, and she expected it to just be another day of execution. But as she plunged her lance deep into the flesh, blood sprayed upon her eyes, and a miracle followed. She could see once again! Only then did she realize the fellow she had impaled was none other than Jesus Christ, the living breathing Son of God.
From that day on Longinus became a devout believer and continued to spread her belief that it was Jesus who restored her eyes back to whole. Naturally, the people around her did not approve of such outrageous claims, so she was soon laid off from her current job before losing her life in an unforeseen accident. Then again, those accidents happened all the time back then.
Regardless, she became venerated as a saint, and the lance she had used to impale Jesus became a holy artifact. As a spirit reborn, Longinus continued to devout herself to the spreading of the Gospels, while in her spare time wasted no time to follow the latest blog updates of BL Doujin artists worldwide. Priorities, really now?
Look out for Next Week Post featuring~ Leonardo Da Vinci & 1 more!